SEVEN ODD ONES

1:

Once there was a brave man with a Beard
& there was but one thing he feared--
--To meet a gal with a famous mustache
& loaded with all kinds-a cash
looking for Harry Sheared (boy, that'd be really weird)!

2:

There was a young man with a nose
looming larger-than (Life real up-close)
who, whenever he blew his trumpet
sometimes he'd go on & bump it
& then start playing a trio through both.

3:

Once there was a one-legged ole goat
who got hurt every time that he squote.
So he put on a brand-new cup
to preserve his ole up & up
and, well, now he can squote quite (like he ought). ^[sic]

4:

There was some ole bag in Nantucket
who fell thirty floors, kicket'd bucket,
& before the ground floor heard her cry
her high spirit bounced up to God's Sky
and was bounced out (on th'echo o'Fuk it!!!)

5:

There was a new baby from Dawes
whose mom knew ( by th'twinge up her nose )
he'd been too long held-offed
and was well over-stuffed
from the tip of his pose to the those on his toes

6:

There was an old guy with one eye
who could 'spy to the middle of Why
so, when called 'semi-blind'
said: "Why, I've got half a mind
to--" but asleep fell amidst th'reply.

7:

There once was a quite loud-mouthed fan
who cried out that: "He won't (though he can)!!!"
Well, he always screamed it so very loud
finally one day a batter jumped in the crowd
after him, who (this time seeing he quite would, he) ran.